The teachers who shaped us, for better and worse

An sentiment portion I wrote precocious for the Herald Sun astir systemic maltreatment astatine Mentone Grammar during the 1970s near maine with an unexpected consciousness of emptiness, adjacent vulnerability. I was present a “survivor” of abuse, portion of a civilization I had ne'er wanted to beryllium to. How had I go the very happening I had resisted each my life: a victim?

Confronting the wounds of silence

As I emphasised successful my Herald Sun article, each my big life, I person refused to subordinate myself with what mightiness beryllium called an maltreatment culture, oregon with identity-based narratives of victimhood. But however tin you not, successful a schoolhouse that enables systematic and corporate abuse?

After speechmaking the testimonies of past students who were sexually humiliated and physically abused, an choler began to emerge. It was a fury that echoed what I had felt each those years ago.

Chris Fotinopoulos connected his archetypal time astatine Mentone Grammar School. Photo: Supplied

My instinct was to stock these feelings with trusted colleagues, family, and friends, who were appalled and acrophobic for my wellbeing. Sharing my acquisition is not lone a cathartic exercise, helping to explicate behaviours that had agelong seemed inexplicable, but besides an enactment of solidarity with the boys who suffered astatine the hands of these monsters.

It was lone aft a scholar asked however those experiences, atrocious arsenic they were, had shaped my teaching that I began to understand that sometimes we person to face the monsters to scope the angels.

Horrified aft speechmaking my relationship my sister asked, “Why didn’t I cognize astir this?”

“I didn’t adjacent cognize myself,” I replied.

As I reflected, I began to understand however definite experiences permission lasting effects that stay hidden. It is lone when others speak of their horrors that we tin statesman to face our own. But conscionable arsenic it is important to speak of the bad, we indispensable besides speak of the good. Otherwise, there is simply a information our hearts will turn to stone.

The teachers who shaped the antheral beyond the trauma

Not each of my Mentone Grammar acquisition was dark. Far from it. As the schoolhouse chaplain, whom we called “Charlie,” would punctual us during chapel, “The airy shines successful the darkness, and the acheronian has not flooded it.” Even now, those words proceed to springiness maine comfort.

“Charlie” instilled successful maine the value of speaking up, of ne'er giving in, and of warring for what you judge is right, careless of the outcome.

In his rough, forthright manner, helium told us successful Greek History that Socrates chose to portion the hemlock alternatively than suffer his integrity.

“Would you alternatively dice than springiness up your principles and your committedness to justice?” That question, stayed with me. I went connected to study morals and motivation doctrine successful hunt of an answer.

He yelled, threatened, belittled and ridiculed. Terrifying arsenic his splenetic outbursts were, I was often amused by them. It was not agelong earlier we realised helium was each bark and virtually nary bite. His irony, a diagnostic of the schoolhouse culture, was often mistaken for venom.

I was so captivated by his grasp of Plato’s Apology, and his engagement with large books, that I endured his temper. I thought thing of his comments directed astatine me, oregon so I believed.

You tend to sorb some the bully and the atrocious traits of your heroes. I took connected his aggression successful my aboriginal years of teaching, believing it would bid respect. I was wrong. I wounded students done my insensitivity and ironic detachment, thinking that if I could endure it, so should they.

Reverend “Charlie” Winter, who introduced Chris Fotinopoulos to Plato’s The Last Days of Socrates

Honouring the angels, not the monsters

You see, it is hard to alteration your ways when the men you revere arsenic a lad embody a version of masculinity that nary longer holds. And there was nary amended illustration of this than my Year 8 English teacher, Rod Hardy, whom I venerated

I retrieve my archetypal time successful his class. It was a blistery January morning. Mr. Hardy stood by his desk, garment sleeves rolled up, a transcript of Hemingway’s The Old Man and the Sea successful his hand.

“This antheral here,” helium said, holding up the novel, “changed the way we write. Hemingway was a analogous successful the Spanish Civil War, an ambulance operator connected the Italian beforehand during World War One. A carnal antheral who loved to hunt crippled and food marlin. And astatine the property of 61, helium enactment a shotgun to his caput and blew his brains out.”

“Why?” we asked horrified.

“Because helium could not judge that helium was increasing old.”

Then helium began to read.

Rod Hardy ne'er raised his voice. He ne'er needed to. Nor did helium nonstop boys to the headmaster for a caning.

Instead, helium showed us the powerfulness of words. He taught us that stories punctual us we are not alone, something that mattered profoundly to a lad of thirteen from working people Oakleigh who often felt similar a stranger successful a strange school. Stories assistance us understand a world that is often unfair and savage. They teach us to co suffer. Most importantly, Hemingway’s novella taught maine that “A antheral tin beryllium destroyed, but not defeated.”

By the extremity of Year 8, I had made up my mind. I would go a teacher similar Rod Hardy.

Early successful my career, I had to punctual myself to beryllium much similar Rod and little similar “Charlie”, arsenic curiously charming arsenic helium could be.

But it was the gentle lit teacher successful my elder years who stayed with maine most.

Jim Doyle saw something successful maine beneath the disobedience that masked anxiousness and fragility. He showed maine kindness. He introduced maine to poets who softened my heart, and to books that inspired compassion.

Early successful my teaching career, while astatine Doveton High School, I attended a seminar astatine Monash University. As I near the lecture theatre, an older man approached, shook my hand, and said, “Chris Fotinopoulos.”

Jimmy’s Irish lilt took maine backmost instantly. I felt similar an imposter successful the beingness of a giant. Yet Jimmy looked astatine maine arsenic if to say, I knew you could bash it, my boy.

Later that year, helium phoned maine when helium heard of Doveton High’s closure under the Kennett government’s outgo cutting measures. He did not person to call. He chose to beryllium contiguous astatine a hard time. That is what bully teachers do.

It is men similar him, and galore others crossed Mentone Grammar’s history, who gave us what we needed to flourish. Surely, they are the ones we should honour.

Seeing the caring and compassionate teachers entering the assemblage today, I americium convinced our students are successful harmless hands. It is lone fitting that this and the adjacent procreation of teachers bash their work successful schools that carnivore the names of angels, not monsters.

Rod Hardy, the antheral who introduced Chris Fotinopoulos to Hemingway’s The Old Man And The Sea. Photo: Supplied

*Chris Fotinopoulos is simply a teacher, writer, and ethicist, who has taught aesculapian morals astatine the University of Melbourne, and doctrine astatine Monash University.