Ancient Greeks Turned Friendship Into a Science

Ancient Greek thinkers treated relationship arsenic a foundational ethical and societal practice. Credit: Nikias Painter, Wikimedia Commons, CC BY-Sa 2.5

Friendship mightiness not beryllium the archetypal happening we subordinate with past Greeks, but their philosophical reflections connected it are worthy remembering.

The past Greeks believed friendship was acold much superior than a fewer hours of chatting and banter with your champion friends. They treated relationship arsenic a broad philosophical strategy that shaped their full society. It is not an exaggeration to accidental that past Athens was location to the world’s archetypal deliberation vessel connected quality relationships.

While astir of america conflict to support a fistful of meaningful friendships successful our fast-paced, interconnected world, past Greek philosophers specified arsenic Aristotle, Plato, and Epicurus were penning full works dedicated to the subject.

They distinguished assorted types of relationship with antithetic terms, formed communities centered connected companionship, and genuinely believed that beingness without adjacent friends was not worthy living.

Aristotle categorized the antithetic types of friendship. Credit: Public Domain, via Wikimedia Commons

The past Greeks and Aristotle’s beliefs connected friendship

Aristotle, 1 of the world’s astir recognizable past philosophers, spent sizeable clip reasoning astir relationship and its relation successful the societies of past Greece. His Nicomachean Ethics could adjacent beryllium seen arsenic a manual connected friendship.

The philosopher divided friendships into 3 categories. First, determination are friendships of utility. Examples see concern acquaintances, nonrecreational networking, oregon akin applicable relationships. Aristotle wasn’t being cynical astir these; helium simply recognized them for what they were: temporary, practical, and indispensable for galore aspects of regular life. He described these relationships arsenic affable due to the fact that some parties request thing from each other.

The 2nd benignant of relationship is based connected pleasure. These are your drinking buddies, tennis partners, oregon radical you bask spending clip with—not due to the fact that you person to oregon expect thing successful instrumentality but simply due to the fact that it’s enjoyable. Aristotle noted that these friendships were peculiarly communal among young people, which makes sense. When you’re a teen oregon young adult, you’re not usually seeking heavy philosophical conversations implicit greeting coffee; you privation fun, and friendships astatine that property are centered connected enjoyment and adventure.

But the highest signifier of friendship, according to Aristotle, is the 1 based connected virtue. These uncommon relationships beryllium betwixt radical who genuinely respect each other’s quality and privation the champion for each different without expecting thing successful return. It’s the person who tells you erstwhile you’re being an idiot, celebrates your successes without jealousy, and sticks astir erstwhile beingness gets messy. Sounds rare? That was the lawsuit successful past Greece, too.

What’s peculiarly absorbing is that modern probe continues to enactment Aristotle’s ideas. Psychologists studying semipermanent narration restitution find that couples and friends who stock halfway values and communal respect thin to header acold amended than those whose bonds are based purely connected convenience oregon shared hobbies.

Epicurus portrayed relationship arsenic a chosen household successful his Garden, wherever communal attraction and shared tranquility made it the top bully of a blessed life. Credit: Agostino Scilla, Wikimedia Commons, CC BY-SA 4.0

Epicurus and the plot experiment

If Aristotle was the theorist who distinguished antithetic types of friendship, Epicurus was the practitioner—the philosopher who enactment mentation to the test.

Epicurus did thing extremist for 4th-century BC Athens: helium created an integrated assemblage wherever women, slaves, and radical of assorted societal classes really lived unneurotic and sought to recognize beingness and its meaning.

He established his Garden successful 307 BC, and it was dissimilar earlier philosophical schools. It functioned arsenic a laboratory of friendship, wherever radical could enactment mentation into practice. For Epicurus, relationship was cardinal to quality well-being. The philosopher genuinely believed that due relationship could lick galore of humanity’s problems.

He erstwhile said, “Friendship dances astir the world, announcing to each of america that we indispensable awaken to happiness” (Greek: ἡ φιλία περιχορεύει τὴν οἰκουμένην κηρύττουσα δὴ πᾶσιν ἡμῖν ἐγείρεσθαι ἐπὶ τὸν μακαρισμόν), a connection that sounds poetic until you recognize its profound significance. His followers established Epicurean communities passim the Mediterranean, creating networks of communal enactment that lasted centuries, promoting the deeper meaning of quality connection—bonds lone recovered successful existent friendship.

What made Epicurus’ mentation of relationship revolutionary was its egalitarian nature. Ancient Greece was a nine with deeply-rooted hierarchies and societal status. However, Epicurus argued that quality mattered much than commencement circumstances. His Garden successful Athens operated much similar a chosen household than a accepted Greek household, with radical caring for each other’s carnal and affectional well-being.

Modern intentional communities beryllium a indebtedness to Epicurus. Kibbutzim, celebrated Israeli co-housing projects, and adjacent immoderate modern LGBTQ+ chosen household structures gully inspiration from these Epicurean principles of friendship—the thought that meaningful bonds tin beryllium based connected shared values alternatively than humor oregon societal convenience.

These examples amusement that the Greeks understood thing galore of america person forgotten. They recognized that assorted relationships service antithetic purposes. We don’t request to expect enactment colleagues to beryllium our affectional enactment system, nor should we consciousness blameworthy astir enjoying superficial friendships that are conscionable that—superficial. Simply realizing this could prevention radical a large woody of unnecessary drama.

Additionally, the past Greeks knew that without astatine slightest a fewer deep, character-based relationships, beingness becomes difficult. Modern loneliness epidemics, contempt our unprecedented connectivity, suggest they were right. Social media provides galore utility- and pleasure-based connections, but virtue-based friendships are progressively rare. The crushed is simple: these friendships inactive necessitate the aforesaid concern of clip and affectional vigor they ever have, resources that galore deficiency today.

Contemporary science confirms what Aristotle observed 2,500 years ago. Research connected societal enactment consistently shows that radical with strong, character-based relationships unrecorded longer, happier lives, and adjacent retrieve from unwellness faster.

Even our governmental scenery could payment from past Greek ideas connected friendship. Aristotle argued that friendships among citizens fortify a democracy—a conception that seems astir idealistic successful an property of utmost polarization. Similarly, Epicurus demonstrated however genuine assemblage successful enactment tin situation powerfulness structures that make artificial boundaries betwixt people.